his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
