I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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