I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
