Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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