GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
