And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
