There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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