There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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