Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
