guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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