unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
