Redeem this text for a blowjob
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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