let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
