dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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