then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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