Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
