I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
