From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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