I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
