This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
