Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize