So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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