My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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