You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
