i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
