good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
