Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
