i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
