It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
