we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
