I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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