I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
