allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I think i got beer on your cat.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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