Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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