I think my vagina is haunted
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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