Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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