This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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