So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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