He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
