I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
