batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
