Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
