I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
