Can Purell be used as lube?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
