The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
