I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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