im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Damn victory sex feels great
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
