Banned from zoo.
Again?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
