I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
