I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
