Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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