The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
