you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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