I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
