She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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