I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
