Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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