I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
