in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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