I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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