am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize