Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
