she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
