Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
