honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
