Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize