epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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