My friends, they love my intelligence
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
