Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
