No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
