She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
