Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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