Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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