so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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