at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
