Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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