need another drink. this is the easiest way
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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